There are so many posts floating around the interwebs on what different kinds of people do differently that I thought it was time for one about what happily married people do. And what better way to find out than to ask happily married people?
This week I asked our ModernMarried Community on Facebook to share what they think happily married people do differently.
You can see that original Facebook post here.
Such a great variety of approaches and yet, common themes: respect, connection, friendship, affection, appreciation.
I often think we overcomplicate relationships so much. The happiest marriages I know are best friends who kiss and hold hands and make everyday life a great adventure.
My answer to this question is – schedule regular Together Time and share daily what is happening in their lives outside their relationship. I believe in The Daily Check In and practice with the hubster every day we don’t spend together. I have learned so much more about him just by understanding his work, his passions and the way he likes to spend his time. If you ever do just one thing that I suggest on this blog, do this! And here is a post all about The Daily Check In and Why It Matters.
And here are the super awesome answers our brilliant ModernMarried wives gave us on Facebook –
Erika Montero – Set goals of life together! When you are parents, separate time to share as a couple!
Kaylee Nichole Lopez – Communicate and not take themselves too seriously.
Mary Heinz – Everything Everyone said, plus….Show gratitude for even small things the spouse does, laugh together and keep a sense of humor
Sylvia Martinez – Mutual respect always. Appreciate the small gestures.
We also kiss every time one of us leaves the house or returns. Always. (We know that we’re not promised tomorrow.)
LauraLynn Thomas-Speakes – Back one another up…especially with the kids.
Communication is KEY!
Openly show affection
Tell each other the truth, it may hurt but there has to be honesty.
Christine Lecours Warner – Hold hands. Sounds simple, but it’s such a deep and meaningful gesture with long lasting benefits.
Jennie Brzuchowski – Praise them for something they accomplished for themselves daily
RK Life Coach: Rebekah Keizer, MA, BCC – Know each other’s love language and be intentional about touch and talk.
Rina Rina – Show appropriate affections in front of others, especially the kids 🙂
Angie Chaz Kullander – We have date night 2-3 times a month and when we argue we figure out what went wrong and talk about it.
Estey Silva – Have a bad memory when it comes to bad times (let it go) and always remind yourself of the good times.
Lori Johnston – Always tell each other “I Love you ” And Never go to bed angry always talk <3
Shelley Bishop – Showing each other how important they are to each other.
Lorena Loreto Bradshaw – Good communication , Romance , Respect , Count your blessings ,Teamwork
Tina Michelle Sun – Kiss often and make intimacy a priority.
Dona Liston – Never keep score.
Valorie Ebie –
In all things be a team. Love is a verb–SHOW your spouse in small ways every day and NEVER take them for granted! ♡ Notice when they do something nice and thank them!
My husband thanks me for making dinner every day–even if it’s only pasta! And have fun together! We rarely go out on dates because we have a special needs child, but there’s always time for fun!
We truly enjoy each others company! #lifeisbettertogether And always put God at the center of your family! ♡ We’ve been through extremely trying times–prayers and faith got us through! ♡
Charisa Beebe – Build intimacy through small gestures of gratitude and affection throughout every day.
Practice mindfulness, especially during conflict/disagreements.
Be passionate best friends above all else
Have shared goals and values. Discuss them.
Find humor in every situation.
Know how to have fun being bored together.
Tina Williams-Shetenhelm – Always, always be affectionate. In public, in private, and especially in front of your children. And apologize when necessary!
DeAnna Borden – Communicate everything with each other.
Deb Jarvis – Daily text gratitude / lots of communication.
Christy Dominquez – Spend time alone as a couple.
Laura Timperman Reisig – Don’t sweat the small stuff!
Rennie Gray – Communicate no matter what.
I was inspired all over again just reading all of these. One of my goals for this blog is to help people see that happy marriages are possible. They are happening all around us and if you are not feeling excited and nourished by your relationship, there are super simple things you can do to bring back that excitement and love right now.
You don’t have to wait to some special day or better time, you can pick one thing from this list and go.
If you struggle with this, read this post on how to be loving on purpose – which you can find here.
If you want personalized help to refresh and reboot your relationship (and your life!), check out my coaching page here: Coaching with Maggie Reyes.
And always remember, your marriage does not have to be perfect to be awesome!