This week a dear friend asked if religious reasons were not a consideration and all legal paperwork was taken care of, would I still get married? If so, why?
I loved this question and answered it for myself and then asked The Hubs what he thought. His answer was 98.2% similar to mine. Yes I measured. He basically used different words to say the same thing.
So today dear readers, I answer the eternal question – Why get married?
1. FAMILY – for me personally what I make marriage mean is that I am part of a family and having grown up without one, I like that meaning, it works for me. Although it is my life’s work to support people who want to be married to do it better, happier, loving-ier, I also don’t believe everyone should get married or needs to be married to be committed. I do believe if that if you decide to get married, there are habits and practices that can help you be married happier including, the daily check-in, questioning everything, and decluttering.
2. MY DECLARATION TO THE WORLD – I am also hugely in favor of re-defining marriage as I write about often. The history of marriage is the story of an idea that has always evolved as society has evolved. In present day that is largely forgotten, but still remains the truth. It’s also telling me and the world, I am doing this. This is what I am about. When I thought about the answer, it reminded me of incorporating my business. A formal sign to myself and the world, that my relationship is sacred and I am committed to it, I am all in. For reals. (Not to say someone else couldn’t be all in without doing that, just that it signals that *to me*).
3. SCIENCE – not the sexiest reason to get married. For Sure. But here it is: Studies show married people live longer, have better health and more wealth overall than single people. Overall, good marriages are good for you but bad marriages are bad for you. Marital stress and conflict affects your immune system as deeply as smoking. As deeply as smoking, yes you read that correctly. Which is why we are here every week with tools, ideas and smiles to share, we want to make good marriages better and keep those immune systems healthy!
4. SEX – Well it had to come after science didn’t it? I mean really. The University of Chicago has published a study confirming what I already knew (being a married person and all). “The most satisfying sex in America is in the bedrooms of people who are married for life.” For me the feeling of safety, security and loving acceptance that I have with my husband makes the physical connection easier, stronger, and more powerful. My mother in law reads this blog, so that’s about all I am going to say about that. Click here to read more results from the study.
5. SOUL – We are starting our 6th year of marriage and I still get excited when I see The Hubs every morning. I love the feeling of belonging that I have because I have declared myself to be his wife. Knowing he has vowed to be my husband for as long as we both shall love just makes me smile. That silly-goofy-happy-smile that could be annoying if it wasn’t so sweet. It just makes my soul happy. Being married makes my soul happy. That’s the only reason I need really.
Why did you get married? Please share in the comments.