Manifesto for a Happy Marriage – 12 Ways to Make Your Love Last

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This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, click here!  

 

I believe you can have a happy marriage. It’s why I do what I do every day. It’s why I am a proud member of the Happy Wives Club and encourage you to join us if you haven’t already. It’s why I love the Happy Wives Club Book and hope millions of people read it. Because there was a time I thought I would be single forever. Then there was a time I thought I didn’t know how to be a wife. Now, almost 7 years after getting married, I can honestly say that happy marriages are possible and all around us. And I want you to have one.

Thinking about what makes a happy wife, a happy life and a happy marriage, I finally realized it was time to write my own manifesto. This is my verbal declaration of intentions and views on what makes love last:

  1. Check in EVERYDAY. Asking “how was your day?” is the key to being part of your honey’s life. Don’t take that question for granted. Don’t grunt and say okay and move on to what’s for dinner. You married the love of your life so you could be with them every day right? Remember that.
  2. There is no auto-pilot for love. Flirt. Kiss. Hug. Remember that you create your relationship with every text, every wink, every “good morning” and every “can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” Never stop creating and you will never stop loving.
  3. Dream Deeper instead of bigger. Dreaming deeper is asking how you would like to spend your time, not your money, and then finding ways to do more and more of that every day. What makes your heart sing? Do that. Trust me on this, it’s not the car you drive, it’s how you drive it.
  4. Forget “the institution of marriage” and remember “the family of us.” We are all making it up as we go along. And that’s okay. life coaching, relationship coaching, marriage blog
  5. Pour love into pain as often as needed. Forgive. Forget. Let go. Move on. Love more. Open your heart to receive love when you need it too. If you aren’t sure how to receive, say so. Use your words. Listen with compassion. Believe that it will all work out in the end. It will.
  6. Remember that feeling you had on your honeymoon? So much joy and laughter and love. Feel that now. Yes, right now. If your honey did something hyper-annoying right before you read this, then just close your eyes and remember the feeling you had back then. Take a deep breath and remember that feeling. How can you bring it forward to today? Take turtle steps if you need to.
  7. Say no to negativity. No criticizing, complaining or eye rolling. Ever. Make requests not complaints. Remember at the end of a request you may get what you asked for. At the end of a complaint all you get is an argument.
  8. Keep the sexy going. Studies show married people have better sex. You are married. The odds are in your favor. Practice. marriage advice for newlyweds
  9. Make deposits into your emotional bank account every day. Run little errands, bring coffee, take the dry cleaning. Be kind. Act like a team. Remember you are on the same one.
  10. 10. Make space for friends. Your husband does not want to know that your favorite color of lipstick was discontinued. And he definitely does not want to know which star of Downton Abbey you think is the cutest. Even if your husband is your best friend, make time for girlfriends. They can help you keep your marriage stronger.
  11. Let go of the idea of perfection. Expect marriage to be crooked and chipped and weathered. Expect it to grow and change and surprise you. Expect to be disappointed every once in a while. It happens. Nothing is wrong. That is life. Expecting perfection is the root of so much pain. Expect largely imperfect love instead. You can write your own love story and it can be beautiful, even if the curtains are dusty and the plates are chipped.
  12. Believe in love and the power of that force to get you through tough times. Love is the highest power of all. Use it.

Manifesto For A Happy Marriage, love quote, positive marriage quote

I am so proud to be a regular contributor on the Happy Wives Club – voted the #1 Marriage Blog by About.com two years in a row. I recently wrote about “The 7 Habits of Highly Happy Marriages” and that post went all over the world over 85 thousand times, you can read it here.

Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy here.

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Comments

  1. says

    I so believe this, Maggie. What has made our marriage so much better in the last few years is committing to the every day – the hugs, listening, and smiles. It has made all the difference. I used to be so stressed and tired, and now I am energized and happy. I hope to be flirting with him when I’m 100! :)

    Happy New Year to you and Hubs!

    • Maggie Reyes says

      Hi Rosemary! I get so stuck whenever I think I need to be perfect at something or have all the answers. I feel so much freedom when I remember that we are all in the same fabulous space ship earth – figuring things out as they happen to us. And for me, to be alive, is to be creative. We create and re-create our love, every day. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Yulisa Nunez says

    I’ve been sharing my life with my hubby for 21 years now and boy has it been a roller coaster. Marriage to us is like a work of art, it can’t ever be perfect but you never stop working on it. He believes if it isn’t broke why fix it. It’s true an argument doesn’t mean your relationship is over its exactly just that an argument because its in-humanly possible to agree in everything. Staying stuck on a negative feeling will only bring negative results bit when you have adressed the issue just move on (I will not lie, it’s difficult at times) but you move on. When my husband and I first met we “dated” for a 1 1/2 months before we decided to move in together and it had been one of the best challenges in my life. I call it challenge because I decided to live my life with a “stranger” to me, although others knew him. You can’t ever think that you will know your other half 100% because we humans change every day with every situation. What we should know is how we both feel about each other. Like you hav stated “recreating your love” its recreating the script to our love story. Wr flirt with each other, text each other “steamy” comments ;-) and smach each other’s butt when passing by each other. We live our love story and turn the page everyday and continue whete we left off and then end that chapter and begin a new one.

    • Maggie Reyes says

      Yulisa! Hi and Welcome!

      I love this – You can’t ever think that you will know your other half 100% because we humans change every day with every situation.

      Yes! We are always discovering each other anew. That’s part of the beauty of being in a relationship over so many years, being a witness to all the changes over time.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Brenda says

    The biggest change in my own experience in my marriage has been learning to expect LOVE instead of expecting disapproval or something else un-loving from my husband. We have been together for more than 25 years, and he has given me his unconditional love all along, but my own internal voices told me that I didn’t deserve that unconditional love. It took many years to learn to quiet those voices so I could be truly OPEN to this love, and to accept his praise and kind words as real and true as well. It has made my marriage the safe haven and joyful place that it should have been all along!! Expect love, expect kindness, expect forgiveness! It’s so much easier than I thought!

    • Maggie Reyes says

      Oh my gosh, expect love. SO POWERFUL. Expect love, expect kindness, expect forgiveness. I love this so much! THANK YOU BRENDA!

  4. Joi FS says

    A spirit of gratitude contributes greatly to our happiness, as we remember to appreciate the beauty of life and each other. Our daily ritual consists of asking what 3 things we are grateful for. This gives insight into each other’s day and has really helped pull us out of some funks. We remember how incredibly blessed we are and how wonderful it is to be together. Also, when we give thanks, we elaborate on our appreciation and connect it to the emotion. For example, “Thank you so much for taking out the trash. It contributes to our family and makes me feel like I’m being taken care of too.” It reminds us to take notice and be grateful for all efforts made towards our happiness and peace.

    • Maggie Reyes says

      Joi – YES, gratitude is an immediate vibe shifter! Sooooooooooo important! (and practicing gratitude:) Thank you so much for taking the time to write a comment!

      XO

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