The Hubs and I have been discussing the movie, “The Vow” since we watched it last month. I cannot remember a movie we dissected more deeply, including my favorite movie question, “What would we do if it was us?” As it turns out, we unanimously decided we would just have to find a way to fall back in love with each other. And here the hubby goes to town on how exactly he would make that happen.
Special Guest Post by The Hubs
Maggie and I saw the movie “The Vow” a few weeks ago. It was very thought provoking and led to a lot of reflection and discussion. I thought I would share in the fun with you.
<This is Maggie saying Hello! And I loved this post so much I had thoughts to share about *almost* everything, so you will see me, in Italics, all over this post. My Bestie also made a special request that she would love to read a He Said/She Said style post, so here it is!>
For those that didn’t see it, in the movie, Leo and Paige are a happily married young couple, that is, until a car accident results in her losing the last few years of her memory, including her memories of meeting and marrying Leo. Now Leo has to convince his wife to resume their life together, when to her, he is a total stranger.
<For those that DID see it – how sweet was Channing Tatum’s Leo in his unwavering love for his wife? And if you were married to Leo, wouldn’t you at least TRY to remember?!?!?>
Now maybe it is the engineer in me that always wants a plan in place for any eventuality, but it really got me thinking of what I would do in a similar situation.
<Oh how I LOVE IT when the hubby gets creative about how he would make me fall in love with him all over again!! THAT is just a FABULOUS way to spend your time. Anytime you have the temptation to ponder how you can make your honey’s life better, sweeter, happier or peacefuller – DO IT!>
This (highly unlikely) thought experiment breaks down into the following two problems that must be solved:
1. Showing proof that your courtship, love, and marriage were real
2. Recreating your courtship, love, and marriage (<-this is the subject of a whole other post…stay tuned for that one!)
<The Hubs is cute when he gets all Engineery isn’t he? Step by step is my favorite kind of instruction.>
Here’s how to begin:
1. Showing proof that your courtship, love, and marriage were real
The first step would be to convince your spouse that you loved each other, to tell them and show them how you met, courted, and eventually married. Given that you would be a total stranger to him or her, you would have to be able to present enough evidence to convince them that this is not a con, that you really loved each other and that you were really their spouse. Tricky, tricky, I can assure you that Maggie would not be easily convinced.
<Insert Maggie laughing out loud, right here. I could be convinced! Especially if Channing Tatum, I mean, The Love of My Life was doing the convincing. Just because I am high maintenance and require a man with values like honesty, integrity and goofiness, doesn’t mean I can’t be convinced. Carry on.>
How to convince Maggie that I was really her husband? Here’s my recipe:
I. FRIENDS – I’d rely on Maggie’s inner circle, including her best friend to vouch for me at first, and tell her how much we love each other. Since I would be a complete stranger, she would need to have people she remembers and can trust to make the initial re-introduction.
<Well yes, I have known my best friend since second grade so chances are I would remember her no matter what kind of amnesia I had. Now my question is, in the present, what would your best friend say about your husband? Why do you love him? The hubby is having this whole experiment in his mind and I am taking it off the pages of the blog and into your house. For all these questions, what would today’s answer be?>
II. PHYSICAL EVIDENCE – Then, when this initial vouching is complete, I could start presenting the physical evidence of our history and relationship. This is when all our courtship e-mails and pictures would pay off, combined with our wedding album, family event and trip pictures, videos, etc. She would be able to read her own words of what our early relationship was like, which would be more convincing than anything I could say.
<Oh dear, I love me some physical evidence. The cute Hans Solo-Princess Leia card from our last anniversary, check. The wedding album with all our pictures, check, the scrapbooks I made on mix book of our cruise vacation triple check. So my question is, what physical evidence do you keep around the house that you are in love? Is there a picture on the mantle? Is there a copy of a scrapbook on a table? Those little reminders can bring happy memories into the present as feelings of joy.>
III. HOME – When she’s ready, I would be showing her how we made our home to reflect who we are and what we value, how it’s a place of peace, beauty, reflection and love. I would show her the dressing room we built for her, our library (full of spiritual books), our cozy home office, the painting from her old job, things that would show that I knew and valued who she was and how we’ve created our home together.
<I think he would have me at the library. It’s divided into his and hers sections. Mine is filled with romance novels, decorating and self-help books. His has sci-fi, fantasy, and his own dose of self-help on the side. I think I would feel like Beauty from Beauty and the Best – Marry that man and get that library! Are there things in your home that reflect both of your passions and interests? Why or why not?>
IV. STORIES – Finally there would be the sharing of stories about her and about us, to show her that I know her pretty well and that we had created a loving relationship.
<So, all he would have to do for stories is show me this very blog and not say a peep. I would just read for myself everything I ever thought about what I believe, how I feel about marriage and love and our vacations and how he would help me get through a bad day. But since everyone in this world is not a blogger, I would ask you, what’s your favorite marriage story to tell? Have you told it lately? Do you know what your hubby’s favorite story is? Can you ask him?>
There you have it dears, the 5 tools the hubs would use to show me our love is real. Remember you don’t need a Hollywood Movie or a tragic accident to make you forget. You can get amnesia all on your own, just by getting busy with day to day life and not making time to create new memories together or to celebrate the moments you have already created.
This weeks’ LOVE WORK (because homework sounds so high school): Leave a comment with 2 specific things you can do this week to ensure your marriage is amnesia proof.